E vs HB

One for the first.
One for the unexpected.
One for the learning.
One for the second chance.


One for the ostracization.
One for the one that got away.
One for the dashed hope.
One for the thread being cut. (thankfully from not so high of a place)
One for the bad timing.
One for the betrayal.
One for the abuse.
One for the unknown.


People say I am a good looking person.  People say that I am kind.  People say that I am nice (some people say I am too nice... which is bad?).  People assume I'm popular.


So why is it that I'm always alone?  Although I feel like the feeling was just budding, walking home today in the chillier-than-recently damp air my subconscious seemed to find the perfect song (that I hadn't heard for years) and played it in my inner stereo - Backstreet Boys' "Show Me the Meaning of Being Lonely".


Though in my head, the chorus was, "Is this the feeling of being lonely."


I feel like I want to talk about it... but I can't seem to make myself bring it up with anyone.  The feeling, like I said, was just budding.  But I'm pretty sure it was growing (slowly).  But the timing is (really) bad... and well, I'm not 100% sure, but it certainly seems like I'm not even a consideration.  It's something that I should be able to walk away from with minimal (no) impact, yet here I am, typing away.