Remembering those we've lost

I found out yesterday that a family friend who often advised me during high school passed away from Cancer on Saturday. It seems so sudden - she was only diagnosed at the end of last year. My mom had been trying to call me but couldn't get through because I was always in class/meetings/rehearsals, etc. She finally left a message yesterday. I was completely shocked when I heard her say "Ellen passed away Saturday." The woman who I remember has being good-natured, full of smiles, and willing to offer her guidance with her experience as a college advisor was suddenly gone and I wouldn't have another chance to see her, to thank her for all she did. It's has been 2.5 years since I last saw her (I haven't gone home in a while), but now I won't get to see her again. I feel guilty because I can't remember how we last parted, when we last saw each other exactly. It was so long ago. My mom told her about Stanford a few weeks ago - she knew it was my dream school. I hope it made her happy in someway... I hope she knew how much I appreciated what she did for me during high school, I'm not sure I really showed it that much... Now there's no more chances. Whenever someone I know passes away I always think back to a boy in elementary school, Anthony Taylor (I had to look up his last name yesterday - but I recognized it immediately when I saw it). He and his family were victims of an racist arsonist... all 9 of them. He was only 9 years old. I was his mentor the year before, when I was in 4th grade, asked to be so by my teacher because he was having trouble socially and academically. When I heard what happened, I drew him a picture of a dalmatian. I was drawing lots of animal pictures at that time, mostly tracing, but I copied his from a picture, I didn't trace. I wonder if I still have it in one of my folders somewhere. I always think of him, what he could have become if given the chance, where he would be now. I think it might have been the first death I had to deal with. If not, its certainly the first death I remember and it still affects me.

We sadly hear about it everyday, yet we only pause to think when it's someone we know.