What's wrong with me?

I was supposed to eat lunch with her today...I didn't. She was going to eat in Oakenshields with ...I think it was Yuan Xiang and Huang Yu. I couldn't spare a meal...and I didn't want to make one of them bonus me. I try not to take things from other people when I can avoid it. And if I do take something, I like to have a way of reciprocating. But...I didn't get to eat with her...but I saw her again. After just over two months I finally saw her again. I didn't know what to expect when I saw her. Would I still have that flutter in my heart? Would I feel nothing and consider myself liking her as a friend and nothing more? Whatever I thought I'd feel...I didn't think I'd feel how I did. Standing in line at Cascadelli - I was about to cry. Just seeing her, and exchanging a few sentences with her face to face...I don't know why. But somehow that brought up the urge for me to cry. I was quite close to it to. I could feel tears welling up inside my eye before they come streaming down. I was prepared to just walk straight to the bathroom if I started to cry. I didn't expect to feel like that....I miss her...I didn't realize I still missed her like that. (If that's the reason why I wanted to cry. And yes, it was a sad cry). I'm going to go sleep and ponder what's wrong with me....