Dreams.......shattered

I watched Abre Los Ojos tonight (the spanish film Vanilla Sky is based on) so I feel like talking about dreams (in a way). Do you ever have dreams of what could be? Or what you wish could be? I'm sure you do...but do you wake up and truly feel sad knowing that the odds of that happening are so slim? And I'm not talking about dreams of a big house, nice car, and a butler with a British accent...I'm talking about dreaming about something closer to you, something that means more than all that - like someone you care about. I've dreamt about her a few times...once we were in what seemed like an art room taking an art class (I actually think it was calligraphy) and everyone was speaking Mandarin (and I understood..). Another time I dreamed we got back together much like the way we got together the first time (which maybe I'll tell you one day....). I'm so happy when I first wake up from those dreams, half thinking half wishing they were true. Then I realize they aren't...and I realize that she likes someone else who likes her too...and I realize that I can't do anything to interfere with her happiness. That I can't tell her how I feel, can't make her feel guilty (or am I thinking too much of myself?). (OK, mindset just changed right now...) I feel like she's forgotten all about us....like I was a temporary diversion. She said things to me that made me so happy when we were together...but now...it feels like none of that was ever true....like she said it just to appease me at the time.....Was it true? Did she really care about me? I miss her....I still care about her....but I can't let her know...I don't want her to have a twinge in the back of her mind (again, am I thinking too much of myself?) when she's with this new guy. My only hope, my only wish, is that he treats her better than I could have. That she is happier than I made her - if I did make her happy.....

Oh, and you should watch those two movies....