今を大事にする

Above Kikuna Station gazing out over the landscape, I sat. I watched, or rather heard, her train pull out of the station and make it's journey towards 武蔵小山. I couldn't help but think about all the things she had said and done that night... "Give me a piggy back ride," "I tend to fight with the people I get close to later," the way she looked into my eyes, especially when she looked back at me, not once, but twice as she walked towards the platform. Those weren't casual glances, her eyes lingered too long. She came so suddenly. I couldn't believe it. A simple 会いたい was all that she said. She had her ticket even before I confirmed that it would be ok for her to come or not (not like I would've said no anyways). And yet, she came. I've always imagined that one day she'd surprise me by being on my doorstep when I got home from school... I guess this is as close it will get for now.

Is something there? I know there is something here.

Sometimes, things need to go wrong before you know how to fix them. They need to break, fall to pieces. No, you can't return to the past and make sure it doesn't break, but that's not what we're supposed to do. You look towards the future. Once they break, you see their individual parts and can put them back together into something different from the past - not a simple patchwork of glue and tape that will fall apart at the slightest tremor, but something stronger and more enduring. Something that can stand against the elements of life.

It can be done as long as we are willing, as long as we are willing to shut our eyes, reach out with our hands and take hold. Nothing is achieved without taking that first step, however small that first step may be. But taking that first step knowing that someone will be there in case you stumble makes it all the easier.