Ruined

This is not at all what I wanted. Not at all not at all not at all not at all. I didn't want to make her mad, to make her feel pressured to tell me immediately. All I wanted to do was to let her know how important to me, how much it would mean to me, that she would trust me one day - it didn't have to be immediate, but just that one day, maybe she would come to feel comfortable and trust me. And that day would make me feel really happy. It doesn't matter whether we're dating or not, it's a matter of human relationships. I never said it was okay for Darlena to not want to talk to me about something. I keep hoping that one day she too will feel like she can talk to me about it - and she also knows I'm waiting for that day.

God, I never wanted things to be like this. I wasn't trying to do this at all. I didn't want her to feel forced to tell me right then and there just because. It defeats the whole purpose if it doesn't represent that she feels comfortable with me - the information itself is NOT the point, it's the trust and comfort that is behind it. The information, when given, just represents that the trust and comfort is there. That's all it is. It is simply a symbol to say that she trusts me and feels comfortable with me. But now....

I can't lose her again... not like this... I don't want to lose her as a friend...