Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Do I really?

I've still been trying to think about my feelings the past few days. I've seen both (ok...I think it's time I figure out a better way of differentiating) of the girls who I think I might like.....I'm definitely feeling stronger towards the new person. But...I don't know if I'm annoying her lately....I have a tendency to want to talk with someone a lot when I start getting to know them better - and it's even worse if I start to get to know them better and I start to like them. I need to stop that. What a great way to get off on the right foot, right? I was excited about eating dinner with her tonight - we usually eat after our wednesday meetings, but she went to West to eat with her roomie. Makes sense - her roomie just got back Tuesday night from a conference. It actually seems that she's not as talkative now as she was when we were working on stuff together a couple of weeks ago. Maybe this is a stressful time for her? I know it is for me...I should be working on a midterm right now. I just don't have the motivation to start it. I've been trying to write lyrics to a song lately. It's a lot harder than it seems - especially because I don't play guitar or piano so I can't test chords and such. I don't even know the melody I would like (partly because of the above). Sometimes a melody will come to my head while I'm walking between classes, but I'll forget it by the end of the day. I find the lyrics that come to my head first are always very obvious...nothing creative. Nothing poetic. Nothing meaningful. I want them to have meaning. I want them to be something special. So pretty much all I've written is crap. I'm thinking of writing a poem first, and then pulling things from that and formulating a song. I tend to do better when I write poetry. I was reviewing some of my old poems I used to write. Some of them were slap-you-over-the-head-with-a-dull-object obvious, but others, I feel had deeper meaning. (Could be writer's pride at work though.) If I could find it in me to write like that again.

And if your'e wondering, I hope I could bring a smile to your face with the picture of the bunny. I actually had the crazy idea this afternoon to go out and buy a giant bunny costume, and one day, when it's warm and people are outside lounging about between classes, wear it and walk around campus. Don't go to classes that day but just walk around campus and through random classes. Why? To see how many people I can make smile that day. Sometimes if somebody's day is going bad all they need is enough of a push to smile, just a little push. I think a giant bunny rabbit costume could do that. Maybe I can touch some people in that way. Just one day of walking around doing nothing but trying to make people smile. Maybe I'll do that.

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