What's going on?

So....I think the night I lapsed...I think it might have been a reaction to a change in the state of how things were. A reaction to realizing that she had moved on and I was completely out of the picture. I've been doing ok since then, I thought it would take more time, but I've been alright. Perhaps that's what I was waiting for? Perhaps I was waiting for her to find someone else in order to let myself move on? I don't know, perhaps.

Here's the thing.....I'm more concerned that this other girl who I said I started to like, I liked because she really did remind me of the person above. I've been hanging out with someone else a lot recently, and, well I'm starting to like her....also???????? I've never liked more than one girl at once before....it feels...strange?? But the reason why I think I might've had the wrong intentions in liking the other girl is because when I hang out with her, I'll still think of this new girl...but not the other way around. I feel like I get along better with this new girl too...we have a lot in common and she's really fun to be around. I actually met this girl freshman year, and, well sort of like this other girl...she struck me when I first saw her even though I was already in a relationship at the time......I feel strange when that happens. It makes me feel bad, because I'm not devoting all of my feelings to one person...but have it split (in whatever ratio that may be). I don't like caring about someone in that way....that's why I get confused when it happens. I don't know what I'm thinking, what my heart is telling me, or let alone, why. But...for now...well, I guess I'll see how I feel in the future.....but, at least I'm not sad!